GOODBYE MOM!

First of all, let me apologize for taking so long to do this. It has been difficult adjusting to life as it is now and not updating every day. I keep thinking I will wake up from this terrible dream but unfortunately it isn’t a dream. We lost mom on Tuesday December 23 at 5:40 AM after a long rough night. About 7:00 the night before, mom’s breathing became very labored. I gave her some Morphine which usually eased her breathing within about 3-5 minutes but at 7:45 she was still struggling so Royce called the nurse. She told me to give her some Ativan and call back in 30-45 minutes if it didn’t help. It didn’t ease her breathing at all so Royce called back and the nurse came out. She said that mom’s lungs were filling with fluid and that we didn’t have long. She spoke with the doctor and got the go ahead to increase her Morphine and Ativan to keep her comfortable. We gave her both medications every hour and she seemed to be peaceful although her breathing sounded terrible. It was apparent that she did not want to take her last breath with us hovering around her so about 3:00 AM Royce laid down to get some rest (he was in the room with mom) and Graig and I tried to rest in the living room. We went in every hour to give her the meds and she seemed to be peaceful. Royce awoke at 5:40 and came in and said that mom was very quiet so Graig and I went in and she was gone. She had taken her final journey and what a wonderful journey that must have been. I am sure that my grandparents were there awaiting her arrival and they had a joyous reunion.

Her journey here was 4 days shy of 5 months since we learned of the brain tumors and this terrible disease. She fought this disease with courage, grace, & dignity. We prayed every day for a miracle but that wasn’t part of God’s plan. I guess he needed her more than we did although I can’t imagine anyone needing her more than us. Oh, how I miss my mom, my best friend, but I find some comfort in knowing that she isn’t suffering anymore.

For those of you who were unable to attend, we had a lovely visitation. Ashley made a video, “A Tribute to the life of Glenda Malter”, and it was incredible. There were pictures of mom as a young girl up until this past year when she got sick. She was such a lovely lady. Although it made us sad, we tried to remember the good times associated with each picture. Holding her first grandchild, celebrating the holidays, various trips, etc. Whenever mom was around we were always making memories. I have so many wonderful memories with her and it breaks my heart to know that we won’t be making any more memories.

The graveside service was quite an experience. First of all for those of you who don’t know where Protem is, it’s a million hills and curves from here. The biggest majority of our family suffers from motion sickness. Our grandparents on both sides of our family moved to Protem after they retired to be on the lake. I’m not sure why they couldn’t find a lake with a straight road leading in. Our Granny Roxie still lives there and I have wonderful memories of spending my summers there as a child. Mom’s parents also lived there so they were buried there. Mom told me that she chose to be buried there for 2 reasons. First and foremost she said was because if she was buried that far away I wouldn’t be able to come and sit at the cemetery and cry everyday and also because her parents were buried there. When I told my girls were she was being buried they turned green. Oh how they dreaded that trip but we passed around the Dramamine and set off on this final trip with mom. Everyone in our car made it without getting sick but I do think that my nephew, Derek, came close. It was pouring down rain and terribly windy. We made it there without any problems. The cemetery was a mud pit and it was raining really hard. Pastor Dennis did a wonderful job. During the short service a thunderstorm developed and the lightning began. I believe that this was mom’s way of saying to make it short. She didn’t want us standing around the graveside crying. By the time we left the cemetery it was raining really hard. We had to stop at one point so that Derek & Larry could get out and move some tree limbs out of the road so we could get through. We made it back to the church safe and sound and the church ladies served us a wonderful lunch. Thank you so much.

I don’t even know where to begin to express my family’s appreciation to everyone. I want to thank everyone who has traveled this journey with us. It has been the longest and the shortest 5 months of my life. I’m really lost right now. Mom was such a huge part of my life. Even before she got sick there was never a day that went by that I didn’t talk to her. What I wouldn’t give to talk to her just one more time. Thank you all for the food, calls, messages, prayers, encouragement, and shoulders that we cried on many times. I have never seen such outpouring of love and compassion. We have had 6824 hits on the website and 523 messages. You people are so AWESOME. Our family is so lucky to have each and every one of you in our lives. To those of you out there who never had the privilege of meeting my mother, thank you for praying for her even though you didn’t really know her. She was so touched that so many people were praying and keeping track of what was going on with her. She enjoyed your messages, even when it got to the point that we had to read them to her. She looked forward to it every day.

I have one last request from everyone. Please continue to pray for our family, especially for Royce. We know that mom is in a better place, but we have to learn to get from day to day without her. Please continue to call on Royce and give him encouragement as we all try to make a new normal. Someone once told me that after you lose a loved one, nothing is ever normal again and that you have to make a new normal.

Our family wishes that each of you and your families have a safe and wonderful New Year and that God blesses you for all that you have done for us. For those of you still keeping track of this website, I will try to get on occasionally and update on what is going on with our family.

Love to all, Lee Ann

UPDATES ON MOM

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 19, 2008 02:08 PM, CST
Well, I come to you with a very heavy heart today. The nurse just left and she said that mom has started the dying process. She said it could be this afternoon or up to 2 weeks from now. She said that she didn’t think it would be long because mom is at peace. Let me back up a little bit, mom was very unresponsive this morning, her breathing was labored and sporadic, and she appeared to be in another world. Royce called the hospice nurse to come out. Her blood pressure is down, her heart rate is up, and she is experiencing episodes of apnea which are all signs of the dying process. We knew that this was coming but are in no way prepared. At this point, all we can do is try to keep her comfortable and pain free. I will update later if there are any changes. Thank you all and God bless you.

"God IS bigger than Cancer!"

Love to all, Lee Ann


SATURDAY, DECEMBER 20, 2008 03:34 PM, CST
I know that everyone wants to know what is going on so I felt that I needed to update. Needless to say, my heart really isn't in this. Mom is doing about the same. We are keeping her comfortable with the morphine and we are continuing with the Dexamethason (steroid) to keep the swelling in the brain down. We are giving the meds that we can get in liquid form as mom can hardly swallow now. We are continuing with the Dex because if the brain starts swelling too much she will start having seizures and we are trying to avoid that. They also sent out some liquid Ativan in case she starts getting restless or having seizures. I was talking with her this morning and telling her how much I love her and how proud I am that she has been so strong and I was crying. All of a sudden she looked right at me and said, "Please don't cry." So, no more crying in front of her. We went to the funeral home this morning to take care of some of the preparations while we are still somewhat clear headed. OK, so we are not so clear headed but we thought we should start planning. That was so difficult. So much for a short update. I ask that each of you take a moment and pray that mom has a smooth and peaceful transition from this life into the next.

Love to all, Lee Ann


SUNDAY, DECEMBER 21, 2008 01:15 PM, CST
Good afternoon all! Just wanted to drop in for a quick update. Everything is about the same today. Mom did have a bit of a headache today which is out of the ordinary but I gave her a little more morphine and that seemed to take care of it. She also said that her stomach was hurting but the morphine seemed to take care of that pain also. At this point there isn't much we can do except to try and keep her comfortable. Derek, Nicki, Aliyah, Ashley, & Dustin came to see her today which was very good for her. She always enjoys seeing her grandkids and great-grandkids. I know this was difficult for them but I really appreciate them coming. We had several visitors yesterday too and want you all to know how much we appreciate it. It is nice to have visitors to help occupy our minds at this point. I would like to once again thank everyone who has traveled this journey with us. We are so blessed to have such wonderful family & friends. It is hard to believe that we have been traveling this journey for almost 5 months. Mom had been so brave, courageous, strong, graceful, etc. Thank you all for everything and God bless you.

Love to all, Lee Ann

UPDATE ON MOM

Good morning everyone! What a bitter cold day it is again in the Ozarks. Mom is still doing about the same. Hopefully today she will get some of her medications in liquid or patch form. We are also hopeful that she will get her appetite enhancer. I’m not sure how much good it will do but we are willing to try anything at this point. I am thankful that she is pretty much pain free other than when we have to roll her on her side. It seems that even if we touch her it hurts her. It breaks my heart to think that I am hurting her. It is hard to believe that it has been almost five months since we found out about the brain tumors. This has been the hardest five months of my life. I never dreamed that mom would have to go through something like this. I know that I have so much to be thankful for but some days it is really difficult. I know that it is so hard for her to lie in that bed and have to be taken care of. I can’t imagine how it must feel to have to depend on someone for everything. I was really praying that we would have some more quality time. I had hoped that the radiation would at least shrink the tumors so that mom could get back on her feet and enjoy life for a while, but I guess that wasn’t meant to be. I know that we are not supposed to question God’s plan, but on days like today that is really difficult. Well, here I am rambling again. Thank you all for everything that you do for our family & may God bless you all.

“God IS bigger than Cancer!”

Love to all, Lee Ann

UPDATES ON MOM

Good morning everyone! Hope you all have a safe day. The freezing rain is coming down as I type this. Will we have white Christmas? Mom is doing about the same. She still isn’t eating more than a few spoons of applesauce a couple of times a day to take her pills and it is a struggle to get her to do that. Sometimes I think that her brain just doesn’t tell her mouth to open and it gets frustrating for her. We are waiting to hear from the doctor to see if the appetite enhancer is an option for her. We are also waiting to see if they can switch some of her medication to patches or liquids. For the most part she seems pretty peaceful, but I really long to have my mom back. I miss all the things that we did together. She is not just my mom, but my best friend. Ok, I will get off my soapbox and just say, have a safe and warm day and God bless you all.

“God IS bigger than Cancer!”

Love to all, Lee Ann

UPDATE ON MOM

Good morning all! Hope you all had a wonderful weekend. Mom is doing about the same today. She has trouble chewing and swallowing now so it is a challenge to get her to eat. We are crushing the pills that we can but there are still about 5 or 6 a day that she as to swallow. I know that my updates over the weekend were short but I am really struggling right now. I can’t stand to see her like this. She has always been the strong one. It has been over a month since she has been out of bed and the last couple of times have only been to go to the hospital. It kills me to see her so weak and frail. We are having the Sunday school class over on Saturday and I am hopeful that will cheer her up. Thanks to Aunt Sara for sitting with mom today so that Royce could visit the doctor. Thank you to everyone for all that you do and thank you for traveling this journey with us. I really don’t know what Royce, Graig, & I would do without all of you. To Larry & my kids & my friends (everyone), please bear with me, I know that I haven’t been real easy to get along with lately but I am doing the best that I can under the circumstances. God bless you all and have a great day.

“God IS bigger than Cancer!”

Love to all, Lee Ann

UPDATE

Good afternoon everyone! Hope you are all having a great day. I just talked to Royce a little bit ago and he had to call the nurse to come out as mom is having catheter problems again. I don’t understand why they can’t get this taken care of. It seems to be an ongoing problem which is very uncomfortable for mom. I would like to ask for a special prayer from all of you. One of the girls I work with lost her brother to cancer on Saturday at the young age of 46. Please say a prayer for the family of Maurice Forner, Jr or as we all know him “Junior”. He put up a good fight until the very end of his battle with this terrible disease. We will all miss him very much. Thank you again for all your thoughts, prayers, food, words of encouragement, etc. I can’t imagine traveling this journey without all of the support we receive from all of you. God bless you all.

“God IS bigger than Cancer!”

Love to all, Lee Ann